The 25 Funniest Quotes From Shrek

Shrek is the kind of ogre who is less scary and more silly. In all his films, he delivered some really hilarious lines.

Shrek is one of the most iconic characters in animated film history. In fact, he's easily one of the most iconic characters in movie history. Mike Myers took the lead in a satirical fairy tale, which was considered risky at the time, and transformed him into a deep, charming, lovable human being.

Shrek defies fantasy genre clichés by becoming an ogre, who ends up being heroic when he has the chance to save a beautiful princess - who is also an ogre. Here are 20 of the funniest Shrek quotes.

Update November 4, 2021: As rumors continue to surface about a fifth installment in the Shrek series, it doesn't look like the big green ogre's place in pop culture will be relinquished anytime soon. Collectively, Shrek made DreamWorks a household name, and two decades later, four movies later, they're as influential as ever.

It's been a full decade since the latest entry in the series debuted after Shrek Forever, but fans are always ready to hear more witty quips and bad jokes from the hapless hero of fictional folklore.

Updated January 4, Jordan Iacobucci's 2023: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish continues the tradition of the Shrek franchise two decades after its debut, keeping the beloved ogre and The memory of his many friends as fans continue to hope for a fifth Shrek movie in 2023 in the not-too-distant future. While we wait, fans can still go back to the Far Kingdom and relive some of Shrek's funniest lines.

“...Must Be A High School.”

Shrek The Third

“Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty, must be a high school.”

In Shrek The Third, Shrek, Donkey, and Puss in Boots go to find the future King Arthur and find him studying in a place called Worcestershire. As Donkey gushed about what the place might be, Shrek noticed a familiar feeling, his stomach ache and sweaty palms confirming that Worcestershire was a high school.

Although it is almost certain that Shrek did not attend high school in his teens, this statement is true for anyone who did. Shrek's trademark sarcasm and dependability is once again one of his funniest lines in the series.

"If You Think This Mad Scene Ain't Dope, I Feel You, Dude."

Shrek The Third

Listen, Artie. Eh, if you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever, but what I am screamin' is, yo, check out this kazing thazing, bazaby!"

Although Shrek seems to know exactly what it's like to be a high school kid, he certainly doesn't have the proper lingo for dealing with teenagers. in a weak To connect with Artie, Shrek erases some old phrases—and invents some new ones in the process.

Watching the usually grumpy ogre try to come face-to-face with a typical high school kid never gets old, especially after he crashes and burns so quickly, setting up Artie's best while he screams for help One of the lines: "I've been kidnapped by a monster that's trying to bond with me!"

"I Already Had A Big Bowl Of Curly-Toed Weirdo For Breakfast."

Shrek: Forever After

Given his appearance, Shrek found that many people expected the worst after meeting him. After a while, however, he came to accept their assumptions about him, often responding to their fears with witty rebuttals. This was of course the first time he saw Rumpelstilt, and he wondered if the ogre was going to eat him.

Although Shrek responds to Rumpelstilt's panic-stricken cries with a sarcastic line comparable to Mike Myers' cunning ogre, the line still shows how hard life is for him when dealing with people who fear him. It's a concept that's run through the franchise for decades, and if Shrek 5 hits theaters, it's likely to continue.

"...Sgt. Pompous And The Fancy Pants Club Band."

Shrek 2

"How do you explain Sgt. Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?"

"Shrek" and "fantasy" are two words that rarely go together when Fiona's parents sent a troop of trumpeters and hosts to the swamp to invite the two ogres to faraway lands. Seeing this, Shrek said a few words to the attendants of the king and queen.

This line not only provides some color commentary on the iconic satirical ogre, but also establishes the differences between Shrek and his in-laws throughout the sequel. Hilarity ensues as Shrek tries to fit into the royal lifestyle -- and fails miserably every time.

"For Five Minutes, Could You Not Be Yourself?"

Shrek 2

Donkey finds himself at a loss as he embarks on a long journey from the swamp to a faraway place with Shrek and Fiona. His constant gibberish and annoying voice eventually upset Shrek, causing him to lash out at his animal companion, asking if he could try being someone else for "five minutes."

The friendship between Shrek and the donkey has been one of the many highlights of the Shrek series, especially when Shrek can no longer keep his cool amid the constant conversation of his companions. His rage at Donkey is one of the funniest moments in the whole first act Shrek 2, perhaps one of the duo's best moments.

“Do You Think He’s Maybe Compensating For Something?”


The great thing about the Shrek movies is that they are full of innuendo. These grown-up jokes are just a wink to the parents in the audience and often give watching kids a headache, providing viewers of all ages with some fun.

A good example is when Shrek and the donkey first arrive at Lord Farquad's castle and Shrek notices how tall and wide it is. He jokes, "That must be Lord Farquad's castle. Do you think he might be compensating for something?" Maybe he's just referring to his height, but somehow that seems unlikely.

“Actually, It’s Quite Good On Toast.”


In Shrek's opening scene, a group of villagers gather with torches and pitchforks to kill a local ogre. A villager tried to irritate his friend by saying that ogres would "grind your bones for bread," but Shrek himself appeared to correct him. ^He casually says, "Well, actually, that's going to be a giant. Now, ogres - oh, they're worse. They'll make clothes out of your freshly flayed skin! They'll scrape your liver , squeeze the jelly out of your eyes! In fact, it was delicious on toast. "Naturally, that was enough to keep everyone in a state of panic while Shrek was feasting.

Halfway through Shrek 2, when Shrek turns into a handsome human and the donkey into a noble stallion, they Arrested by distant police. Donkey told his arresting officer, "No one said I had the right to remain silent! Shrek quipped, "Donkey, you have the right to remain silent." What you lack is ability.

“Donkey, You Have The Right To Remain Silent..." *

Shrek 2

“Donkey, You Have The Right To Remain Silent... What You Lack Is The Capacity.”

Of course, Shrek's witty retort to the donkey's panic-stricken screams just goes over his head, making the one-liners all the more interesting. Audiences will surely never tire of Shrek's attacks on his best friend, knowing they're just from A place of love.

When Shrek first meets Lord Farquad, who is auditioning for a knight on a daring mission for him, the diminutive villain says, "What's that? too frightening! ” in reference to the giant green ogre standing in front of him.

“Well, That’s Not Very Nice. It’s Just A Donkey.”


Shrek quips: “Well, that's not very good. It's just a donkey," referring to his four-legged companion. The donkey is so childish, it's too innocent to seem to notice A lot of these ironic insults, done without thinking.

Precarious bridges suspended over bottomless pits or rivers of lava are a staple of adventure films. These bridges can be found in every big-screen adventure, from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom to Glory of Kings. In Shrek there is a rickety bridge that leads to the tower where Princess Fiona is. When Shrek lets a frightened donkey walk onto the bridge, he isn't scared at all because he's just relieved to have calmed the donkey down.

“That’ll Do, Donkey. That’ll Do.” *


While the reference to Bebe may have caught the imagination of many younger viewers, Shrek's lines add to the ongoing list of references to films in the series that couldn't possibly exist in the universe anyway. Still, there's nothing wrong with the series' witty comedy, as it seizes the opportunity to reference as many pop culture references as possible.

When Shrek first tells Donkey that ogres are like onions, Donkey thinks he means they stink. Then, he thinks he means they make people cry. In a sense, he's right about both of them, but they're also ogre stereotypes. Then the donkey thought he meant the ogre to go If you leave them in the sun, they will turn brown.

“Ogres Are Like Onions.”


He was getting off topic, so Shrek explained it to him. What Shrek is really saying is that ogres have an emotional dimension. They're complex individuals, which Donkey discovers when he later sees Shrek fall in love and learns to appreciate having close friends like him around him.

Living almost completely alone for most of his life, Shrek has become a taciturn ogre. So, when he comes across a talkative donkey, he can't help but owe it something.

"Donkey, Two Words: Shut. Up!"

In the original 2001 film, Lord Farquad asks the two to rescue a princess from a castle guarded by dragons, while Shrek is just overwhelmed and the donkey is completely terrified. As they search for Fiona, the animal keeps talking in Shrek's ear, prompting Shrek to express his annoyance with this hilarious line.

The Shrek movies are known for their meta-references to fairy tale tropes. For example, after Shrek Forever, when the protagonist and Donkey see a nice stack of waffles in the woods, Donkey is excited, but Shrek can tell it's clearly some kind of strategy.

“A Stack Of Freshly Made Waffles In The Middle Of The Forest?"

Shrek: Forever After

"There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?"

In an old Andersen story, the characters would blindly fall for such a trick, but Shrek points out how ridiculous and straightforward the trick is. Still, Donkey is dumb enough to be fooled — his love of waffles was established way back in the first movie.

After sneaking up on a group of villagers in the opening moments of the first Shrek movie, the eponymous creature reminds them how evil the ogre is, before licking its fingers and extinguishing the human torch. After that, he yelled at the group in a low guttural voice, sending the group into panic.

"This Is The Part Where You Run Away."


Shrek is clearly stunned, before gently suggesting that they should run away, whispering "This is where you escape." Shrek clearly takes pleasure in torturing townspeople, a line that reflects his often deadpan expression way of expression.

Antonio Banderas' Zoro-like portrayal of the ancient folklore character Puss in Boots quickly paralleled that of the first film when he joined Shrek and Donkey in Shrek 2. is as beloved as any of the characters. His trick of looking cute with his huge eyes lures his opponents to It is foolproof to let your guard down before launching an attack on them.

“Look At Him In His Wee Li’l Boots!"

Shrek 2

It worked for Shrek and the Donkey when they first met him in the woods, and it later worked for several others later in the series. He proved so popular that he got his own spinoff movie in 2011, with a sequel coming out this month.

In the tradition of the fairy tales that inspired them, the Shrek movies usually revolve around Shrek and the donkey on some sort of quest. In Shrek The Third, this quest is to find his father's heir to the throne after Fiona's death.

“It’s Time To Pack Up Your Toothbrush And Jammies..."

Shrek The Third

"It’s time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You’re the new king of Far Far Away.”

The kid's name is Arthur - or "Artie" as the film refers to it - and he is played by Justin Timberlake. When Shrek arrives at Artie's school and takes him back to a faraway place to claim his throne, the other students think he's come to eat him - but he doesn't actually disappoint them.

This passage is memorable because it became a widely circulated Shrek meme, but Mike Myers' line is just as memorable. Shrek didn't even want the donkey in his swamp, he found In the middle of the night, Lord Farquaad sent all the fantasy creatures in his entire kingdom to Shrek's swamp.

“What are you doing in my swamp!?”


This guy just wants to be alone, and now he's forced to share his sanctuary with dozens of other people. Not only that, but they wanted to actually live in his house, so he decided to do something about it.

Shrek is linked to Pixar's equally groundbreaking computer-animated film Toy Story in that they both revolve around an iconic duo who don't get along at first but share an unlikely adventure After that, they became best friends. In Toy Story, that duo was Woody and Buzz. In Shrek, it's Shrek and the donkey.

“I’m An Ogre! You Know, ‘Grab Your Torch And Pitchforks!’"


“I’m an ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’ Doesn’t that bother you?"

It is difficult for movie buffs to choose which pair is better. However, their relationship does differ slightly. Buzz worries about Woody as much as he worries about Buzz, and Donkey immediately accepts Shrek, even if Shrek isn't willing to open up to him.

This comical line appears in Shrek 2, as the titular ogre is on his way to save Fiona from being tricked into marrying Prince Charming. as part of In his heroic plan to save her, he has to steal some clothes from several men. He does, however, promise to pay back their clothes - unless he can't find them or he forgets what he owes them.

“Someday, I Will Repay You..."

Shrek 2

“Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you or if I forget.”

The joke, of course, is that what Shrek says here is nothing in the mud the character is bathing in. With the din of the film's climax, he'd probably forget about these people, he didn't take down their names or any other information, so, even if he did, it's impossible to find them.

In the first Shrek movie, when Fiona wakes up in a castle guarded by dragons, the main character is not what she was expecting. She expects a handsome prince to come and kiss her, but instead she encounters an ogre who shakes her violently to wake her up.

“It’s On My To-Do List!”


When she wakes up from her sleep and understands the situation, she realizes that Shrek didn't really kill the dragon to save her. He did, however, assure her that it was on his to-do list. It's a good thing he didn't kill the dragon because The dragon later became the wife of the donkey and the mother of the children.

After marrying the love of her life and settling down in a faraway kingdom, Fiona brings up the topic of raising a family. Shrek doesn't seem keen on the idea, but their conversation is interrupted by a messenger, prompting Shrek to spit out the words.

"Well, Somebody Better Be Dying!"

Shrek The Third

As it happens, King Harold the amphibian is actually dying. These events set up the plot of the third Shrek movie, as Shrek is tasked with tracking down Harold's successor. Of course, this did not help to change Shrek's already sullen mood.

Shrek's big twist is that halfway through the film, Fiona is revealed to have been cursed by a witch to become an ogre unless she gets a kiss from true love. So it makes sense to reverse that twist in the sequel and have Shrek drink the potion that turns him into a handsome human.

“Cute, Button Nose? Thick, Wavy Locks? Taut, Round Buttocks?”

Shrek 2

When he wakes up in the barn and discovers his human features - the donkey is now a majestic white stallion - he lists all the attractions of his new body. As an ogre, he has a pug nose, With a bald head and a plump butt, he was surprised to find himself with a cute nose, thick hair, and a "tight" buttocks.

After receiving Lord Farquad's promise to remove all fairytale creatures from his swamp if he saves Princess Fiona, Shrek and Donkey travel across the land in search of the castle where she is imprisoned.

"Donkey, If It Was Me, You'd Be Dead."


They discovered that the castle was surrounded by a lake of lava, which gave off a strong sulfurous smell. Donkey decides it's actually Shrek's sudden flatulence, and complains about the smell. Shrek couldn't understand his partner's nonsense at all, and retorted "If it was me, you would be dead".

According to CBR, Shrek's Scottish accent comes from the voice his mother used to read fairy tales to him as a child. He recorded lines for the first film in several different accents, mostly from different parts of Canada, but they just couldn't find the right voice. In fact, studios spent millions of dollars constantly rejuvenating movies for new sound recordings. Finally, he Find the right accent for the character: Scottish Accent.

“You’re Going The Right Way For A Smacked Bottom.” *


Along with the Scottish accent comes many of the character's endearing traits, including the way he insults others in a way that is charming. Lines like these go a long way in describing Shrek's character--and they're pretty fun to boot.

In the introduction to the first Shrek movie, the main character reads from a storybook about a brave knight who goes on an epic quest and finds true love. He then tore a page out of the book, laughing as he said this.

"Like That's Ever Gonna Happen."


This is one of the most remembered movie introductions of all time. Shrek opens the door to the outhouse and idly steps outside while Smash Mouth's signature song "Rockstar" plays. This immediately sets the tone for the entire series and makes Shrek a likable and downright hilarious character.

Next: 10 Best Shrek Songs, Ranked

Next Post Previous Post
No Comment
Add Comment
comment url